My Own Pocono Play-By-Play

Well...I have the race on TV, the radio broadcast on my phone, and Danica's radio on my laptop. I am all set for racing at the Tricky Triangle!!! I thought I'd do something fun for this race so below you will find my own version of Play-By-Play for today's race that includes anything but actual play-by-play. Enjoy!

Pre-Race:
~Well, that was one of the best National Anthems that we have heard in quite a while... good job dude!
~Dane Cook didn't botch the command! Not that I really thought he would but remember James Franco?

Pace Laps:
~Danica and her team are having an interesting conversation about her pit sign... too tall? Just right? Need to move it? According to Danica, its the same height as Hamlin's...so it's all good! Huh?
~Also, her spotter can't see her going into turn 1...is that the same for all spotters?
~Johnson is on Pole for Pocono... where he won in June... in other words... congrats on the win Johnson! (Hope I didn't just jinx you)

Green Flag:
~CAUTION!!!!! Stenhouse in the wall... he is done... Well... that will be a good Rookie points day for Danica :)
~Wait... was this the quickest caution ever in a NASCAR race? They didn't even make it past one turn!
~Lot's of damage for Stenhouse. Not sure it's repairable.
~Kenseth also has a lot of damage to his right front. Pretty much knocks his chances of winning this race. More good news for Johnson!
~Juan Pablo Montoya with damage as well. I think he may have caused this...
~Color Commentary of this Pocono Race is brought to you by Kyle Copple... wannabe country music singer...LIVE from the room next door!

Lap 3: Pit stop! Grilled Cheese Sandwich and a juice pack!

Lap 6: Green! All I can think of now is....can Kasey Kahne take off his helmet yet? #ThoseEyes

Lap 7: Remember when I said the Danica's spotter couldn't see her going into turn 1? I think that goes for all spotters. I.E...Lap 1 wreck.

Lap 8: JPM seen coming back on track... I think he can win!

Lap 8: Uh-Oh... Busch brothers seen racing side by side...

Lap 9: Stenhouse making jokes in the garage while his crew makes repairs... "Looks like the 42 just forgot we were turning left...he seems to forget a lot these days."

Lap 11: I just slapped at a fly on my shoulder and forgot about my sunburn... excuse me while I scream in pain for the next 3 laps...

Lap 13: Commercial break? What? I've never seen one of these before? WHAT IS THIS!?!?!?!?

Lap 14: CAUTION!!!! And what do you know... Still in commercial. Hamlin to the garage after hitting the wall.

Lap 14: I just looked outside for the first time today... it's raining.

Lap 15: This will serve as the competition caution... I would hope so, otherwise this would be a VERY long caution if they waiting until Lap 20...GREEN!!!! oh wait... CAUTION!!!!

Lap 16: Many teams hit pit road. Danica was pitting by Hamlin... him in the garage leaves her with an empty stall.

Lap 16: Currently downloading season 3 of Necessary Roughness...

Lap 18: GREEN FLAG! Just as they come out of commercial break...nice timing.

Lap 19: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! Ok...not really. But it sure feels like it! Kyle just threw shorts and sweatpants into my room. I love Hand-Me-Ups!

Lap 21: Kenseth and Reutimann slide after ALMOST making contact....

Lap 22: Why do some drivers have names that are SO hard to spell?

Lap 23: Attempting to transfer all of my music to my external hard drive... time remaining? 5 hours.

Lap 25: Hamlin is out. 4th DNF this season. Someone really needs to tell him that his Chase hopes are unfortunately... toast.

Lap 28: My brother is asking me for fashion advice as he prepares to go out to lunch with my best friend.. what?

Lap 29: Kyle Busch and Brad Keselowski are running nose to tail. M&Ms and Redds Apple Ale... That makes a good combination.

Lap 31: Green flag stops for those who didn't pit under caution.... including race leader Johnson...in his airplane.

Lap 32: Sometimes my sarcasm gets the best of me. It only comes out for special occasions.

Lap 33: "Good job. I bet they didn't expect that." ~Tony Gibson "Good." ~Danica Patrick

Lap 34: referring to previous lap...Danica drafted and passed three cars at once. #Boss

Lap 37: The GoDaddy car is up to P6!!!

Lap 38: Commercial.... which mean... Pit Stop time for me!!! Need to refuel :)

Lap 40: Emerged from my hideout....no one is home.

Lap 41: Green Flag starts for other drivers and kicking it off is Danica Patrick who has pit strategy on her mind.

Lap 43: Kasey Kahne on my TV screen....too bad it's just his car. I WANT HIS FACE!

Lap 44: OH MY GAWD!!!!!! JUNIOR IS THE LEADER!!!!! Oh wait... pitting.

Lap 47: Looking at my NASCAR shrine that is surrounding my TV... thinking of how I am going to set it up in my dorm room in a few weeks.

Lap 48: New leader... 48!!!!

Lap 49: Another commercial. On the bright side... I finally figured out what K&N sold.

Lap 50: Internet went out again... really?

Lap 53: CAUTION!!!! FIRE!!!!! The 38 hits the wall.

Lap 54: Pit Strategy yet again. Johnson just pitted yet he is in again.

Lap 54: Lost all radio feeds... dammitt

Lap 55: Contact on pit road with the No.9 leaves Patrick with left rear damage. Ambrose forgot where his pit stall was and dove to the inside of the the 10. Aussies.

Lap 58: Green Flag!!! Kahne and Keselowski two wide battle for the lead!

Lap 60: kAHNE LEADS!!!

Lap 63: What possessed anyone to build a track in the shape of an awkward triangle? Whoever it was was a genius!

Lap 65: I am currently eating a pickle. You argument is invalid.

Lap 67: WATKINS GLEN IS NEXT WEEKEND!!!! I LOVE ROAD COURSES!!!!!

Lap 70: After pitting...Johnson is tearing it up through the field. Boss.

Lap 72: Green flag pit stops for those other guys who didn't pit the last time.

Lap 73: Pit all of this pit strategy going on...not one driver is on the same cycle... in other words...looks for pit stops to be continuous.

Lap 73: SURPRISE!!!!! Johnson leads the field!!!!

Lap 74: Danica Patrick is running in 8th place.

Lap 76: Johnson blows a tire and slaps the wall. Caution.

Lap 76: "I just need to be consistent. I'm not the fastest car but as long as I don't screw up, it's not easy for people to catch me" ~Danica Patrick. P4.

Lap 78: I take back my Johnson comment from the beginning of the race...I blame myself for this. #jinx

Lap 81: Still under caution and Johnson's team is still making repairs.

Lap 82: GREEN FLAG! Kahne is your leader...but Keselowski takes over.

Lap 84: Kasey Kahne... will you marry me?

Lap 85: There are a LOT of light blue cars on track today.

Lap 88: Race for 10th to 13th is getting dicey.... Ambrose, Biffle, Menard and others can't figure out who goes first. STOP ARGUING!

Lap 93: Commercial... I hope mom is making lasagna for supper tonight.

Lap 94: Kahne takes over the race lead and BLOWS past Keselowski. Gone.

Lap 95: CAUTION: Kahne's lead goes up on smoke as the No30 hits the wall.

Lap 95: This is the 3rd right front tire that has blown today....ouch.

Lap 96: EVERYONE HITS PIT ROAD! Pit strategy just went out the window.

Lap 96: Kurt Busch gains 6 spots on pit road. Danica Patrick calls Logano as arse.

Lap 98: Most teams will have one more stop to make before the end of the race.

Lap 99: GREEN FLAG: Truex leads Kahne to the green.

Lap 101: TV guys finally giving Danica come credit for her racing today. She's been impressive. Deserves the mention this week.

Lap 102: CAUTION: 43 with a flat and a spin.

Lap 103: Dad just came in and asked how is favorite girl was doing today. He wasn't referring to me.

Lap 103: FINALLY!!!! There is the F-Bomb throwing Danica that we know and love :)

Lap 104: Most of the field is shutting the cars off to save fuel.

Lap 106: GREEN FLAG!!!! Kahne is your leader.

Lap 109: CAUTION!!! Burton and Patrick collide and collect Menard. Burton gets towed. Patrick to pit road then to the garage. Front end is gone.

Lap 112: Possible top-20 finish foiled by this wreck. Crew Chief Tony Gibson comes up and puts an arm around Patrick after her interview with ESPN. Fan of hers or not, she was running a good race.

Lap 112: Tough break for Burton. Had a good car. Two rough weekends in a row for him.

Lap 115: So much for a good Rookie points day for Patrick. Looks like she and Stenhouse will end in about the same spot today.

Lap 116: GREEN FLAG!!! Kahne still leading the pack.

Lap 117: Newman picked up 4 spots on that restart. Boss.

Lap 125: Kahne is flying in front of the rest of the field.

Lap 127: Kahne's gap is still growing. This is basically his race to loose.

Lap 130: Came back from vacation yesterday. Stored our pillows in a garbage sack in the boat....someone put them on top of the gas can... stinky.

Lap 130: Kahne loses the lead as he hits pit road.

Lap 131: Green Flag stops for the majority of the field.

Lap 134: Johnson pits. His right front is now black with tape. I wonder where I could get some... that could come in handy...over the mouth.

Lap 135: Just scrolled up on this post... man... I talk a lot.

Lap 138: Kahne is leading again now that stops have cycled through.

Lap 140: Hendrick Motorsports is basically dominating this race. Even with Johnson's wreck, he still led a TON of laps.

Lap 143: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF GORDON AND KURT BUSCH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Lap 145: 15 laps to go....I really need to start packing for school.

Lap 148: I wonder how much free candy Kyle Busch gets. He should share. With Me.

Lap 148: The sound just went out on the TV broadcast... that's nice.

Lap 148: CAUTION: Kahne's 7 plus second lead over Gordon is gone. Jacques Debris has made an appearance.

Lap 150: It sounds like a cat is dying in the other room...turns out its just my brother's music. Please bring back the country.

Lap 150: The NAPA Know How commercials get me every time!!! Too funny :)

Lap 152: GREEN FLAG!!!! Eight to go. Hendrick running 1-2-3 with Kahne, Gordon and Earnhardt.

Lap 153: Gordon to the point!

Lap 155: Gordon's lead over Kahne is growing. If this stays green.... Gordon is going to Victory Lane.

Lap 155: As I say that, the caution flag comes out for Kenseth who is doing premature donuts.

Lap 156: Will drivers have enough fuel?

Lap 157: Kurt Busch is sitting in a good spot. So is last weeks' winner Ryan Newman.

Lap 158: GREEN FLAG!!! Gordon takes off but Kahne gets a big run off of turn 1.

Lap 158: Kahne takes the lead with a great pass and run around Gordon.

FINAL LAP: Kahne all but has this won. Running away from Gordon.

CHECKERED FLAG: Kahne takes the checkered for the second time this season and solidifies his spot in the Chase.

Post-Race:
~After sitting on the pole and leading most of the race, Johnson finished P13 after his wreck.
~Gordon finishes P2 with Hendrick teammate Earnhardt Jr P5.
~Pretty excited about the extended Kahne coverage after the race. #ThoseEyes
~ There is a funny smell coming from the kitchen.
~TAKE THOSE SUNGLASSES OFF KASEY!!!!!
~Great post-race interview by Gordon. Happy Birthday Dude!
~Nice shout-out to Jason Leffler, who rode home with Kahne after the June race.
~Someone should take me to Outback for FREE BLOOMIN ONIONS!!!!
~Johnson is still 77 points ahead of second place in points' standings.

Hope you enjoyed my version of play-by-play during today's race at Pocono :)

Until next time!