As my senior year of college is getting closer, I am beginning to find myself more and more unsure of what it is I want to do once I walk across that stage and get my degree.
In other words...I'm completely confused.
This summer, I have submerged myself in my work. Working for a non-profit like the YMCA has been a blessing in disguise. Although I worked here as a lifeguard all through high school, moving to members services a year ago gave me a new respect for the Y and everything that we do for the community and the youth in the area.
This summer I have had the opportunity to work with a lot of kids, from youth sports to summer camp to boys club to various day cares and more. It has helped me realize that the world of sports is where I belong, in some capacity.
Will that be in racing? I honestly don't know.
And that scares me.
For so long I had my head and heart set on working in motorsports but lately, I am not even sure if that is where I belong. There is something about being told "no" or "you won't make it" that really wears on a person.
Starting my senior year, I just have a handful of classes that I need to complete to finish my degree in Mass Communication and since the title of this post is "Honesty" I feel like I should live up to that.
I don't even think the world of media is where I really belong either.
So where does that leave me?
Completely and utterly confused.
I will always love the media world. I've spent a lot of time (as a student) on the radio and I do really enjoy it. Can I see myself being on the radio every day as a career? I don't know. Can I see myself sitting down behind my laptop and writing a handful of stories every day? Possibly. Could I stand or sit in front of a camera every day and tell the world what's going on? Maybe.
See my dilemma here?
I thought that I would know exactly what I wanted out of my work life by now but it seems to be exactly the opposite. What does that mean for me? Good question.
I've been told many times by some of my closest friends that this is normal, that everything will work out. While I know in my heart that they are right, it's hard for my head to agree. Stubborn little thing!
With a month until classes start, I have a lot of thinking to do. A lot of soul searching. A lot of problem solving.
I hate problem solving.
Honesty. It's something that I have had to learn a lot of recently. Mostly by being honest with myself. Hopefully I will have this all figured out and once I do, you'll be sure to know.
I promise not to be a stranger anymore.
Just me. That's all.